I don’t usually rant about things, but I have felt this post brewing for a while. I know that not everybody will agree with me, and I am okay with that.
Last week a certain celebrity oiled herself up and bared all of her bits for all the world to see.
It has many of us wondering: Why did she do it?
- To prove to the world that she’s hot?
- To prove to herself that she’s hot?
- To break the internet?
She is not the first person to make a spectacle of herself in this way. It seems to be pretty common these days. And every time somebody does it, I cringe a little inside.
I cannot pretend to know somebody’s intent for doing something like this, and it is not really fair for me to do so. I am sure Kim had her reasons, whether I agree with them or not. But her intent has nothing to do with what I am about to say.
My points are really about the aftermath. A whole range of reactions and emotions erupted at her display: disgust, shock, judgment, praise, criticism, ogling, gawking, laughter, etc.
My reaction may be a bit surprising: I was heartbroken.
I feel bad that she (or any woman) was convinced into thinking it is a good idea to do this. I feel bad that she traded her body for something that she felt was more important (money? validation? attention?).
And I feel even worse for all of the unspoken messages that are being sent with images like this.
Hear me when I say this does not come from a place of jealously or judgment. It comes from a place of compassion and concern. I am concerned for my fellow sisters. I am concerned for our kids and what images like this communicate to them.
There are several lies/ myths/ messages perpetuated by images like this, whether intentional or not.
Myth 1: The greatest thing any woman can aspire to be…is “hot.”
Oh my my dear sisters! You are worth so much more. There is nothing wrong with caring for yourself and wanting to look nice. But when it becomes The All-Consuming, Driving Purpose of your life, it will leave you heartbroken.
Why? Because beauty is fleeting. And perfection does not exist. And trying to live up to some unattainable ideal will leave you exhausted, defeated, self-loathing, empty and heartbroken.
This is true on SO many levels beyond the extreme of taking your clothes off. Many of us strive to make our outside beautiful. We obsess over our hair, skin, clothes, weight. And we somewhat objectify ourselves by doing so. I mean no judgment by this statement. I struggle just as much as anybody else.
Chasing perfect beauty is not a worthy goal. We are much better served to pursue kindness, humility, goodness, patience, joy, peace, gentleness and self-control.
Think ahead to lying on your death bed. Are you going to regret that you never made yourself hot enough?? I highly doubt it.
Myth #2: Attaining beauty will help us find true love.
Oh sisters, this one is a big fat LIE. Looking nice is one thing. But being overly-focused on our looks ironically could lead us to attract romantic partners who are Shallow Hals. Yep, you could end up with somebody who might leave you if you do not maintain your hotness.
And that is NOT love.
Myth #3: Using your body is a powerful way to get what you want.
Your sexuality is very powerful, and very beautiful. BUT! Used in the wrong context it becomes ugly, demeaning, cheapened and undignified. Whether that is your intent or not, it happens.
Your sexuality is best served in the context of true love and lasting commitment. And that is the truth.
Myth #4: Showing your body voluntarily is modern, edgy and/or feminist.
No, sisters. No, no, no! For the love of all that is good…Do NOT believe this! Taking your clothes of is literally The Oldest Trick In The Book.
There is nothing new or edgy about being publicly over-sexual. This is a lie used to…*surprise*…get women to take their clothes off. Do not believe it for one second! There are plenty other ways of expressing yourself that do not involve giving over your body.
So, In Conclusion…
1. Ladies, let’s keep our clothes on, please.
2. Let’s not become consumed with pursuing perfection in outward beauty.
3. Let us use our intellect, talent, ambition, compassion, grace and love to put out positive images and messages into the world. Let us make it a priority to leave a meaningful legacy of love and kindness.
4. Let’s teach our sons and daughters what is truly valuable, meaningful and important in life.
5. And last but not least, let’s show love and compassion to those who have made the mistake of trading their bodies for something far less valuable. None of us are perfect, and we have all made mistakes.
So my messages of encouragement might go something like this…
Kim K – we already knew you were hot! You don’t have to get naked and break the internet to prove it. 🙂 And even though you get criticized for being famous for doing nothing…I would love to see you prove ’em wrong. I know you’ve got some talent in there somewhere. Let’s see it!
Miley – you have a beautiful voice and a lot of talent. You are a beautiful girl, and you do not need to lick things or twerk to prove your hotness. Don’t let any greedy entertainment executive tell you otherwise. You are better than that.
To the mom who feels like pregnancy wrecked her body – don’t be so hard on yourself. You brought life into this world. Focus on healthy, not perfect. And reflect on the miracle that you just participated in – bringing new life into the world.
To the lonely single girl – don’t become obsessed with trying to look a certain way to land a man. Focus on finding and pursuing your talents and passions. When you are out in the world pursuing your passions, the result will be relationships based on meaningful things like love, trust, common values, etc.
To the aging woman who feels like a lost cause – Youth and beauty are fleeting, so stop chasing them. Your value is not limited to your looks. You are so much more valuable than you know! Work to find other ways to be proud of yourself.
Let us love and encourage one another to become the best version of ourselves!
I am stepping off my soap box now. Don’t worry, I’ll be back to talking about food tomorrow, y’all. 🙂
I welcome comments! Yes, even those who think I am an old fuddy-dud and don’t agree with me. But keep it respectful, please.